Friday, March 23, 2012

Life as a wife to a bivocational pastor.

I knew I was secretly spoiled when my husband, Andy was desperately searching for a job all while leading a church plant. Was it tough? Yessum. Like really tough. I will refrain from going into the  tough details but there was also a sweet side to it. If I was having a rough day, I could text Andy and tell him about it. If I was sick (honestly I think my body waited until he had his current job to t-bone me with a sickness which was super awesome of course) I would call and he would schedule his work around needing to come home to rescue me. We would often eat lunch together as a family because he was just up the road. I loved having the man I loved available when I needed him. So I thought..

The 'secret blessing' was actually difficult for both of us. I didn't respect his hours all the time (because i am the queen of awesome-wifeness and always on my A-game) but I never doubted the work he needed to get done. Andy had legit work to do during the week.

Here, let me answer the question you haters (totally kidding!) ask to those in ministry 'So what does he do, all day?' Andy is very dedicated to what he does. He will read book after book and bible book after bible book (haha) and then write out notes, edit them, (like all my nasty English teachers did.  Marking them up real good.  Purely evil they were.) start writing the sermon, read it allowed, mark it up real good some more and obviously praying for God's direction it it all.  Then he takes most of Sunday to prep for service. This includes setting up the children's room, decor, sound stuff, the slides for music, the bulletins and response cards on the chairs and pre-sermon prep (usually consisting of making any last minute changes he felt God was calling him to, praying over it and re-reading it until he felt comfortable with it). During the week he also met with guys to disciple them, would have meetings once in awhile, meet with other pastors in the area, etc. The man had lots of stuff to do.

Why would we want him to get a job to add to all of that, you ask?  The reason we wanted him bi-vocational is extremely complicated but the simple and sweet answer is that Ember Church was running out of the funds to pay him.  For over a year Andy searched for a job and no doors were opening.  It was crazy but God had a special plan in it all and set aside an extremely amazing and perfect job for Andy which includes a fantastic atmosphere for him to not only thrive and have freedom to grow as an individual but also be a light to those who do not believe. My heart is so full of joy when I sit back and think how good God is in bringing Quantum Health into our lives.

 Anyway, Andy is really loving his job. Being able to support our family while doing what he loves has provided a lot of structure to both of our days. Honestly, I would never have guessed that having set hours would be so good for my days at home with the kids. I don't even think to text him and complain about my days or call him 'just to chat'. He showers at 8 am (I will not mention that he takes the longest showers ever!) and leaves at 8:30. I see him at 5:30 with a hot and healthy dinner on the table, children waiting at the window all while I wear heels and pearls, give him a hot and heavy kiss and wink at the Our life doesn't allow such glamor ;).

On a good day, dinner is almost ready and we spend time together as a family. The kids go to bed around 7:30 and Andy heads to the office to work on his sermon for the upcoming week. This new schedule is challenging for me because quality time is my first love language (words of affirmation a close second) and although I could not be more thankful that the kids do not miss out on time with him, I miss out on time with him. It's getting easier and we are both dedicated enough to keep on tweaking it so it works well for our marriage.

Another new area for us is his business travel. He (not we) went to Savannah, GA for three full days to shoot some video interviews with people suffering from diabetes but are trying to change their way of life. He really loved meeting new people as they shared their stories on the life they lived up to getting diabetes and how they are trying to desperately to change it now.  His favorite part is knowing he gets to tell their stories through his gift of story-telling through videos.  Pretty cool.

I was so excited for Andy to travel and do what he loves but I wasn't so excited about being away from him for three days and not having much time to communicate with him while he was there. He was crazy busy and not to mention he was traveling and working closely with another Woah-man. Yeah, I completely trust Andy and do not doubt his love for me blah blah blah buuut I also do NOT like sharing my husband other than normal working hours. With this new territory there have been good and honest conversations as we figure out how we make this work for our marriage, how we keep our beliefs in staying loyal even when it seems silly to others.  Example, he will not go out to eat with another woman even if it's stricly business.  It just doesn't look good. These conversations must be talked about carefully with love and should lack any accusation.  Like Andys' wise professor said at seminary, "You should not say, 'I will never cheat on my spouse!' but instead, 'I must never cheat on my spouse.' and take the necessary steps to avoiding that."   If you think you never will, you are a fool and already have given satan room to work.  It's not about whether Andy or I are attracted to someone or not, it's a strict rule no matter how hot (or not) that person is.  We are all capable of doing such a thing regardless of our religious status or moral beliefs. 

I think it's hot that Andy is a business man now and I love his overall joy when he comes home. It's good for us all. So there you have it. A peek into our new life as we continue to make it work. #blessedtocallhimmyhusband  Yes, I just hash tagged.

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful post Breena. You are a very blessed woman to have a faithfully-providing-God-loving-hard-working hubby and 4 beautiful children :) AND they are also very blessed to have you! A hard-working-meal-making-house-cleaning-scraped-elbow-healer-lover-of-Jesus :)