City-girl gone' country?!

A pretty bold statement for a gal who loves the city life (that my actual life doesn't really allow for, yet) and being around people.  A little known fact is that I don't like the dirtiness of animals or the smell.   Just keep reading, dang it!

Here's where this is coming from.  An extreme frustration with the food I want to buy and/or try to buy and the food I am actually buying.  Let me lay it out all nice and straight for ya.  I care about the produce and meat I put into my kids' body.  I spent many years and hours reading up on natural and organic and have been rather educated, so I thought.

Last week at the Olde Worthington Farmers Market,  I overheard someone ask my meat supplier, "So are you certified organic?" to which the reply was, "No, we don't bother messing with the silly regulations."

I felt as if I were sucker-punched.  I was also extremely disappointed in myself.  I knew better than to spend more money on "natural" and not go all out with the "USDA Organic".  I know, even that's not perfect but better than the "other" stuff. 

So now what?!  I talk to my 2 friends who have the same passions as I do in eating the best stuff out there.  Eating food the way it was meant to be...organically.

I feel as if I am starting from square one.  I feel like I have to research even more now (and I will!) with each farm in the area and how and what I can purchase and how they handle their animals, what they feed them exactly and if I can purchase from them.  Oh!  And will it be reasonably priced?

Then, there's the desire to just feed my family with our own food.  I am so sick of the ways in which it *seems* farmers are either treating their animals/crops without a care in the world but their own finances which leaves us with terrible toxins a flowin' in our bodies OR they want to go "organic" but by the skin of their teeth.

So what does this all mean for my family?!  Buying a house with land!!!  I wouldn't want a ton of land, but maybe a couple of acres.  Like, 5 at the most.  But then I think, "Okay, Breena.  Seriously?!  You'll go out and milk a goat?  You'll walk more than 2 feet from a chicken?  And collect their eggs?!"

hahaha!  Then I kind of want to gag...but I have done SO many things I thought I wouldn't since being educated on food and how it effects our bodies.  My kids are worth it and so is my life span (as much as I can help it) to stay around with them here on this God forsaken earth ;)

In a perfect world, I would want to live 15 minutes from the city, in a nice big home with neighbors no more than  1/2 acre away (so we can be friends and barter, duh!), built-in-pool, in a good school system, affordable for a pastor's wife, etc, etc, etc.

See.  It totally exists. Charming.

So there ya have it.  A complete "I want to move to NYC and become a fashion designer" city-girl questioning "She's gone country?!" ;)

Thoughts?  Unless you are going to say, "Everything causes cancer these days!" to which I will reply, "Yes.  Yes it does..."

Zoo

Yesterday we went to the Columbus Zoo for Andy's work's "Family Day"!  It was a blast! 

 Face painting!

Eisley, a heart princess and Cyrus, a cheetah. 

Cyrus asked me if I would get my face painted like a gazelle.  Ya know, so he could chase me and then eat me.  Loverly.

Thankfully, we didn't have to walk around the zoo.  We had a nice, shaded room to sit, eat food and they even brought baby animals to us including a joey and baby leopard!

So cute!!!

What a fun weekend!  Family, friends and lots of outdoor activities!  Good for sleeping babies...

 Zekey and sleeping Bexley.

We still had church an hour later! 

I hope your weekend was a goody, too!

New Blog Design

So I went a little crazy and redesigned on my blog.  I hope you love it!  I do!!

A few friends and family wanted to know how they could follow me on here since I am no longer on Facebook.  Now I have a little spot on the right column where you can add your email address and get updates when I post on my blog!   

How was your weekend?  We were in Toledo all weekend to celebrate Cy's 6th birthday with family and friends.  Now we are off to Quantum Health's Zoo day with family.  I am super excited because they have a special area blocked off for us and the Zoo workers (for lack of a better title) are going to bring animals to us!!!  So glad we can avoid walking around with 4 kids.

I'll post pictures later!

I hope your weekend was as good as mine!!!

 I love giraffes :)

"You so funny!"~ Blogger-Wife

I think this is really funny...

So we did a play by play...

"Hey, babe!  How was your day?"

"Hello?!  Didn't you read my BLOG?!"

*Crickets*

P.S. I shamefully admit Andy may have seen this exact face a time or two ;)

A Blessed Day.

Today was such a blessed day.  For starters, Andy woke up with Zeke and took him downstairs at the loverly hour of 5:30 a.m.  Zeke's new wake-up time.  Awesome, I know. 

When Andy takes Zeke, he always comes back upstairs after feeding the kids breakfast at 8 am to wake me up and tell me what else needs to be done (whilst I am still 1/2 asleep) and heads into the shower. 

If I am not the one to wake up with Zeke, it is at this time when Andy wakes me up that I immediately fill up with anxiety for the day. 

"Will Zeke have a siezure?  Is he going to get all the body massages he needs (that's a part of his therapy).  Will he get enough time pushing things around?  Will he regress in his sounds?  Will Cyrus and Eisley feel left out?  Will I get any time with them?  Will Andy come home to a messy house?  Will I always let anger be my first reaction?! "

Oh, it's insane! Once this external processor (me!) shuts up long enough to get a frikin' grip I have to say out loud, "God, I can't do this all and more!  Please!  I need your help today!  Holy Spirit, fill me up!"

My prayer doesn't make me feel all warm and tingly inside, but what it does do is reminds me who is ever present, who is for me, who created me and my babies and who.is.in.control.

Today, and almost every day since Zeke's first seizure, I get all sad and anxious when Andy starts to give all the kids kisses goodbye.  It's as if my insides are screaming, "Help me!  Don't leave!  I can't do this without you!  This is too hard!"

But he still leaves and smiles and wishes us all a good day.  And I am thankful for that but even more thankful for a God who doesn't leave.  In the end, no one or nothing can fill me up or satisfy me the way my heavenly father can.  His love is strong.  His power is great.  His mystery is never-ending.

This leads me to my always asking in my head question, "How do people go through life and all that it brings without Jesus?"

I am not saying living for Jesus is a walk in the park, but life is frikin' hard sometimes and I literally do not know if I could do it without him.  My life without Jesus sounds so lonely. I think I'd be asking questions all the time but, I wouldn't get answers...

With Jesus, I can always rest in the truth of the Gospel. 

Okay, on with my day...

I finished a blog post this morning but felt guilty the whole time I was writing.  My good day didn't really start then, but we're getting there, I promise! 

I love writing posts but I had to let the kids watch t.v. in order to get it finished and I get all anal when it comes to my kids watching too much t.v., especially Zeke.  I have all of this pressure to get more "pathways" going in Zeke's brain and although the only t.v. I let them watch is educational, I still feel guilty.

Before Andy left I said to him, "You know, when you leave I have to go from a state of fear and sadness and switch over to getting my day and the kid's day going.  I have to literally do a switch in my brain and heart and everywhere else in order to get out of a slump.  It's really hard but when I do, we have so much fun!"

And so, after I posted the blog post, it was time to do the switch.  It was good.  We read in James 1.  I focused on God's promise to bless us when we endure temptation.   Then we talked about what temptation is...I used the,  "hot cookies on the counter but can't touch them because momma said" as an example and of course that was a flop.  Questions came a flowin', "Well why didn't you let us have the cookies?" or "Did we get the cookies when they cooled off?"  hahahaha!  So we tried another ;)

We also talked about what it is we are tempted to do most and then prayed to God to help us.  Mine?  Anger.  I like to react lots these days.  I am very open about it with my kids and they are right back (ha!) so at least we've got something going right... ;)

Next we went outside.  Lots of jumping and wagon-pulling and neighbor-talkin' going on. 

Lunch was simple.  Oatmeal and honey.  No fruit (we ran out).  No veggies.  Plain old oatmeal.  They love it, though.


The younger two went down for their nap early and I got to cleaning.  I promised myself that I would take breaks anytime the kids wanted to do something with me.  This mean fast cleaning (if I actually wanted to get anything done) and jumping on the trampoline whilst getting all soaked from the sprinkler and reading books.  No.complaints.here.

Less than 2 hours later Zekey and Bex woke up.  We continued playing outside and enjoyed our sweet, little (some may beg to differ) family.

Time was flying and I felt so much peace and warmth and there wasn't an ounce of anxiety.  Even when Andy called to say he was working late, I was doing so well (while giving baths, even!) and told him he could totes go out with friends after work! 

The kids are tucked in bed and went down amazingly.  I told them a story and we all took turns praying for each other.  A new thing I want to do more of!

The best part of my day?  Zeke's AMAZING progress in sounds/words.  He was blowing my mind today!  He was repeating sounds and words like I have NEVER heard!  Actually getting the right sound instead of trying and not getting it right.  I mean, i could cry, ya'll! 


God always hears our prayers and he always answers them, even if it's not the answer we want but today!  Today I was able to praise Him out loud with all of my kids as we thanked Him for showing signs of healing in Zeke. 

To God be the glory for such a blessed day!



 

Summa, Summa, Summa time! (with lots of photos intact!)

Yesterday was the first day of summer and it feels fine.  I have LOVED the hot weather, sweat and all!  We have been outside playing daily and this momma is enjoying the lovin'  and playin' and then nappin' real good afterward!  Not me, but my babies...still.

This puts a whole new meaning to "riding lawn mower".

Eisley enjoys being a big sister to Bexley.

Play dates with fun friends!

Extra cuddles with daddy.

Our yard...it was a disaster.  We just never had time to give it love but my father-in-law came two Saturdays in a row and helped us get a jump-start on yard love.  There's much more to do but now, there's motivation and hope!  It's been really fun because the kids and Andy get fun, quality time with "Grandpa Nate" all while getting much needed work done.

Look at those handsome Holt men!

I have been going to the Farmer's market...a lot.

 Some pretty ladies in my life who I took along!

 Kate was there, too!  Birthday girl!

 Another time we braved the crowds with all 4!

Walking proud and excited!

Two weeks ago I took Eisley along and...

SURPRISE!  Heather joined us!

 This past Saturday I went to the early morning Farmer's market and La Chatelaine with my girl, Kristin then took Cy and Eisley out to the Olde Worthington Art Show! 

I love my originals...;)

Little girl cuddles

Looking "cool" with Cy...

Oh, I love these two!

I had such a great time walking around with them.  My life is so revolved around Zeke and Bexley these days that getting quality time with Cy and Eisley is vital for us all!

So you see?  I am always at the farmers market.  This last Saturday, I also bought some loverly flowers to plant in the front yard.  I have had such a fear to plant but I really enjoyed the digging and getting dirty.  I loved the way I was able to use a bit of creativity, too!

The extra bonus was that Eisley took an extremely long nap and woke up around 8 pm.  I let her join me while I planted my flowers.  Good, quality time :)

I am looking to get more greens of different shades but low-to-the-ground plants.  No flowers in tact.  Any suggestions?

Also, I am going to be planting organic veggies (finally!!!) in the raised garden I was blessed with but have been too afraid to use.  All because of inspiration and encouragement from my girl, Kristin.  I am SO going to to try it!  The kids will have a blast!  I REALLY want to plant pumpkins, too!

I'll post a picture of my flower garden in the front as they grow and mature!

What about you?  Do you love to garden?  Have a green thumb?  If so, who gave it to ya?

Enjoy this beautiful weather!!!

Happy 6th Birthday, Cyrus Nathan!

Oh, this boy.  This sweet, kind, hilarious, always-thinking boy.  My firstborn, born June 14th 2006.  The one who made me a momma.  I do not even know where to start.

He was always such a good baby.  Content and always thinking.  Ask anyone!  I would kiss him ALL THE TIME!!!  It was as if my kisses were the only thing keeping him alive ;)

I remember the lonely days when we moved to Columbus and I didn't have friends yet and it was just me and him hanging out in our apartment by Easton.  I would play with him on the floor and stress during nap-time because he just didn't want to be without his momma and I didn't want to be without him! 

His head was a perfect circle.  Promise.  His cheeks were the color of watermelon, his chocolate chip eyes the shape of almonds and the cutest button nose you'd ever seen!

When his bottom teeth grew in, there were 3 but the one in the middle, that one came last so he looked like a little jack-o-lantern!

When he was 18 months, he would always want to hit lamp shades.  We figured out, he was keeping a beat!  So, we bought him toddler drums that he crashed through and eventually a full-set at age 3!  The boy amazed me as he learned new beats all on his own!  We actually potty-trained him by rewarding him with You Tube videos of drum solos.

When I would say, "I love you so so much." to Cyrus, he would reply, "Mommy, I E U so, so such!"  Oh, melt my heart every stinkin' time!

He came home one day, barely 3 and wrote "Tim Horton's" in cursive all on his own and started reading  soon after...so, all of this to say, He's crazy-smart but that isn't even close to the reason I love him so much.

He's always asking GREAT questions especially when it comes to Jesus, God, the Holy Spirit or just hard life lessons.  His questions are challenging but genuine.

God is going to use this boy for great things for His kingdom.  He is an amazing big brother.  Poor guy, I am hard on him and expect a lot because I know he's capable of being good, mostly because that's what he shows most of the time.  I forget how good of a boy he is sometimes.  He loves his siblings and his family.  He tells me he never wants to move out.  My how time will change ;)

My prayer for Cyrus is that God would use him to bring glory to His name.  That Cyrus' life would be a reflection of Jesus.  That whatever career path Cyrus takes, he would use it to share the love of Jesus.  I pray that with all that life will bring him, the good and the bad, that he'd remember a life without Jesus, really isn't a life at all.  Don't worry,  I do not expect perfection.  I'm too wise for that (ha!).

I pray for his future wife who I know I will be blessed to call my own daughter someday.  I pray she love Jesus, too!  I pray for his future kids (my grand-kids!) and that God would poor out his blessing on them and they'd see their need for a savior.

My life is sweeter and more joyful with Cyrus in it.  He has taught me to be a better person and Christ-follower.  God has used him (and I am sure will continue to) to create me to be more human, in the original intent...the image of God. 

If you haven't met him yet, you're missing out.  He's just that special.

Cyrus Nathan, my heart couldn't love you more!  I'm so blessed and thankful for 6 amazing years with you, bud!  I love you so, so such!

Happy Birthday to my Favorite TWINS!!!

Olsen's Only.  That's the name of one of my Pinterest Boards.  It's because I love them SO much!  They are gorgeous and have the best clothes/stlye.  A great reason to love someone...because of their' fashion sense ;)

Well, did you hear?  Today they turn 26!  Happy birthday, beautiful twins!  You are one of very few child stars who grew up to be pretty!  (Is that mean?  That was mean.  Not to them, but all the other child stars who didn't get good genes.)

Look how cute they were?!

And the days right before they stopped smiling in all of their pictures....

And now...gorgeous as ever on the cover of Vogue for best dressed in 2012!

Happy birthday, pretty ladies!  May your lives be more than just really pretty to the people you are closest to.

And to me, may I remember that fashion is amazing and wonderful and it's in my blood but it's not more amazing than God himself and the beauty he creates.

Stayin' Sane Monday

Yesterday I realized (or maybe I realized AGAIN) that I had not had alone time in about a month.  I, an extrovert, need alone time about once a week.  It helps keep this gal sane.  Reminds me of who I am (apart from being a wife and mommy) and I come out of it feeling refreshed and ready to take on the world!

I know of a gem-of-a-momma (through the blog world, of course) who takes these times to plot, plan and pray for her week.  Ugh.  Talk about making this gal feeling guilty!  I want this time for me, me, me!  I don't want to plan for the week and all that it will bring.  I don't even want to think of my upcoming week.  Yes, I always want Jesus to be involved in my time away.  I catch myself communicating with him anytime it gets quite, really.  But, in the end I need a break from my day to day tasks and I usually have some kind of craving that usually involves steps in creating something... usually something that never gets done because of lack of time or money.  I'm a-okay with that (not really) because while I am having that craving, I am usually in denial of that annoying fact.  It probably will not get done.

I literally ran down stairs from 1/2 putting the kids to bed with Andy, grabbed the keys and left.  I needed OUT!  I received this sweet text from the hubs, "I love you and hope you have a refreshing time away and that you encounter God tonight."

I immediately started laughing.  Out loud.  By myself.  Do you know HOW HARD it is for me to laugh out loud?  Like, the real kind?!  You have to be crazy-funny.  So, this was a big deal.

Why would I laugh?  You may even call it a cackle...there was a bit of an evil tone to it, I feel. So why did I cackle at the sweetest text ever?!

I think it's because I ran out of the house and didn't even know what I needed or where I was going.  I just knew I needed to get the heck outta there.  So the thought of encountering God was far from my mind.

This is not me laughing at Andy.  He was good and sweet and loving for sending this text.  And...he was right.  I needed to invite God on my time away.

My night started out with a crazy craving for a cookie from Northstar.   I had it only one time, about 1.5 years ago with my sister, Mandy and I just had a random craving for it.  So I headed over to Easton and even though it was a Monday night, parking was crazy, hence my tweet...

"Fighting crazy parking (or lack thereof) at Easton just for a Northstar cookie to go. #desperatemomma #mustbePMSing"

So, the plan was to sneak by Northstar just for the cookie and go off to my next place...wherever that would be.  I had a simple, ill-fitted skirt on with a sweatshirt/hoodie/short-sleeve thing, hair thrown up, no make-up and so there was no plan to stay.  The following tweet...

"...and I don't even look cute. #fail"

Following reply tweet from the sweetest man around...

"Yes you do!" :) :) :)  Love him!

Then...I saw H&M.  I went in and saw lots o' sales.  So I picked up a few dresses and tried them on!  Did I mention they were what I thought was 2 sizes too small?

I thought to myself, "Quick, Breena.  You look like a train wreck!  Go in, try these dresses on that you will not even buy because you are too cheap, and get OUT!"

A mother of 4 can get a little cooky in the dressing room whilst holding her iPhone ;)

So, the dress was $10.  I thought it was SUPER cute and maybe for a few seconds I thought it would be okay to say "screw it" to the annoyingness of modesty and wear a dress, like every other girl (not really) that is just too short.

I felt good, though.  I didn't feel like a blimp which is not the norm for me.  This tweet follows

"Tried on super cute clothes that were a tad too small but zipped...motivation. No cookie ;)"

I am going back to purchase that stupid $10 dress and I am going to add materiel for length.  It's going to be epic. 

"Shhh...don't tell her she'll never do it.  It will make her want to punch you in the face."

I also found this navy jacket with sailor buttons.  Super cute, $10 and I currently do not own it.  Ugh.

I went to TJ Max and talked with my dear Aunt Melody who lives in San Diego.  It was loverly.  Found nothing there, either.

I headed to Lowe's thinking I'd buy wood and make two end tables for our bedroom.

I became really overwhelmed and caved. 

My heart was literally racing with excitement to create, but also from all that lumber!  I am sure this craving came from me pricing out a reclaimed barnwood dining table from 2 local companies.  I want one SO BAD!!!

 So I didn't get the Northstar cookie because I wanted to be "good" but have you tried the new Chick Fil A cookies?  Why do I ask?

Oh...no reason ;)

Taylor Tots

Taylor Swift is so dang cute I could smack her.  Every outfit she wears, the sweetness of her voice and her killer songs (Yes, I do love a good Swift song) make her to be the complete package for girly, eye-candy.

It kills me a bit to know that she straightened those luscious curls but at the same time, it looks amazing on her!  The bangs...I mean she temps me so!  If she gave me the secret potion in keeping my bangs from curling up to the side in the heat/humidity, I may try bangs again.  That is, of course, if the potion had nothing to do with a hair dresser popping up around every corner straightening them throughout my day.  That'd be annoying.

Here's my fave.