How often are we blessed?! No matter what our life looks like, if we open our eyes a bit more, there is blessing all around us. What are you dwelling on? The good or the bad?
When I'm focusing or being overwhelmed with the bad, I.am.ugly. My kids are afraid to open their mouths, my husband walks on eggshells around me. Oh, and cross me after yelling at my kid, telling them to disobey what I've just asked them to do at after school pick-up, well then you will for sure meet Momma bear who rarely reflects the love of Jesus! < --- That may have just happened ;)
And it shows in my Twitter feed, my facebook status', etc. And when other people around me are focusing on the negative, it's not very fun to be around them. Am I right?
Through this time of Zeke's health depleting, we have come a ways in learning what it means to find good in the bad, just like God does all the time. He takes really bad things and can somehow turn them into something so beautiful. (the cross. one of many examples)
As I pray at night, I want my kids to hear my long prayer (they say, "Yeah, that was kind of long. Ha!) of the blessings I see in the midst of this chaos so they can learn first hand, how to feel blessed in a trial that at times, seems to suck life out of all of us.
I want to share with you blessings that God has poured out on us due to our friends (some we do not know very well or even at all!) letting God speak to them and obeying him. Not to brag as it wasn't anything we did, but God through them.
On Monday, I wanted to bless Andy by planning a surprise date. I didn't expect I would find a sitter anytime soon. I went ahead and texted my friend Emmy who is just as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside to see if, "So, could you maybe come over some time after I put the kids to bed so I can take Andy out on a surprise date?!" followed very quickly by my comments that prove how guilty I feel for asking, "but if you can't I totally understand and don't feel bad!"
She replied quickly saying she could THE NEXT NIGHT and I was glad I didn't let my guilt keep me from asking.
We had such a great time and he felt so loved. He's been working so hard for our family and hasn't had much time for doing all the studying/bible-reading/preaching stuff he's called to do so he's a little on empty.
Emmy saying yes wasn't just a really sweet thing for her to do, it was a way she heard a need and obeyed God by being willing to serve others. And I am so thankful for that because it's dates like we had that keep our marriage, well, a marriage and not another statistic of a couple with a special needs child. Her saying yes gave us a time to remember who we are apart from having kids...to remember our love that was once such an easy thing to do but is now a lot harder to work at.
And icing on the cake?! A late-night chat with a really cool gal. Thanks, Emmy! I love you dearly!
Yesterday, I opened up some mail and instead of another medical bill, it was a gift of money. The card read,
"Holt Family,
We heard you had a need. The Lord has given us extra $ this past month. We were called to send our blessing to you.
Love,
Your brothers and sisters in Christ."
And, I got choked up, cried and quickly prayed thanking God not knowing who it was from. Then sent Andy a text sharing with him the way we were blessed. I prayed again asking God to show me how we could use this money.
Later that day, I finally got a call back from our new nutritionalist (who was supposed to call back 2 days prior) who uses diet as a from of medicine which then isn't covered by our insurance. They told me that it'd cost $195 per hour and the first phone call would be aprox 1.5 hours. Guys, the amount is almost exactly what we need in order to pay for Zeke's new nutritional plan! What a blessing!!!! What a God!!
THEN, my friend/bible study leader calls and tells me that many of my friends who are in this study and some from our life group ask how they can help me and she just didn't know what to specifically say because I really didn't know. I just love all the prayer and the way they have come along side us during this difficult time.
Well, they put their heads together and since Amber heard me say, "I just wish I could clean my house!" as I am with Zeke (at almost all times during the day) and then I have 3 others, they decided to gather up some funds so I could enjoy a cleaning lady to come in and help.
Wow. Not only is this a freaking amazing gift for me, it was just.so.thoughtful. A cleaning lady?! Yes! Yes! I could totally use that! I'm really excited. I have never had one! whooo hoo!
Today at the dr.'s, she spoke to me like a friend. I didn't feel like a number or that she was on a timeline. She took a 45 minute appointment and talked to me for 1.5 hours. She was present and full of good information. She is giving us services even though our insurance doesn't pay for them. Did I mention EVERYONE KNOWS ABOUT HER?! She's amazing! God bless her!!
I'm so emotional over all of this. I got an email from my friend/bible-study leader telling me who had given so I could thank them and through my tears it hit me...God's pouring out so much goodness and He's using His people to do so!
We as Christians have such a high calling to not only hear what God is calling us to do but to be obedient. And all of these examples of my sisters and brothers in Christ are proof of Christ's love shining through all the chaos.
And I get to receive these blessings. It's hard to continue to be at a place where I am in need of blessings/help because with our trial we face, it feels I have very little to give back. But, receiving a blessing has nothing to do with the afterthought of feeling like I need to give back.
Part of being gifted a blessing is learning to accept them with open arms, a thankful heart and no guilt attached. I'm learning this and it helps that not once have any of our friends at LifePoint or the sitters I have asked from our Ember days given me room to feel like I owe them. Never. That alone is a blessing!
I want to emphasis yet again that prayer is such a blessing! Interceding on behalf of our family and Zeke's health is one of the most precious of gifts and we are eternally thankful! We feel them and God hears them! Bless you, prayer warriors!
My season will come again when I will have the time to bless others, too. Hopefully God is somehow using me to bless others right now. I want to be used always, no matter the season. It may just look differently.
My life verse:
Jeremiah 17:7-8
7 “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
whose trust is the Lord.
8 He is like a tree planted by water,
that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes,
for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
for it does not cease to bear fruit.”
I want to notice, fully receive and cherish the ways God is blessing us each and every day and again, if we open our eyes a little more, we will see they are all around us.
P.S. Zeke is so joyful these days. He laughs when tickled, is somehow very present when I talk to him amidst all the seizures. God's kingdom is a comin'!! Amen.
Bless you, sweet readers!
Bree
Friday, April 19, 2013
Sunday, April 14, 2013
A poem, sweet boy.
Your pain, my boy
It's opened my eyes
To a broken and hurting world.
A life once comfy
Small trials seemed mountainous
My eyes blinded, but now I see.
How can I ever
let my heart become settled
When this isn't our forever dwell.
The cross you bare
burdens which seem no end
Have been taken, they are not yours
But how can you
Know to let them go
It's my faith you're left to trust.
But I'm broken, too
Forgetting so often
The best of friend taking it as His
May I be that friend,
Until you can know Him, too
Showing love without an end.
His name is Jesus
He had no sin
And took all brokeness at the cross.
To accept it all
Is no small feat
As only One has shown such love
He took it all
For me, for you?
What did we do to deserve?
We did nothing, my boy
But now we must
Accept this beautiful salvation given.
Claim God as Creator,
Jesus as Savior
Holy Spirit whom dwells within
Salvation is ours
Not just a gateway to heaven
But an usher for His kingdom come.
Your broken body
It is being made new
With each prayer and cry, 'Please, God!'
I won't stop praying
Beleving and fighting
Until I my last breath here on this earth
In His hands you lay
So strong and loving
Rest my boy....
He is good.
It's opened my eyes
To a broken and hurting world.
A life once comfy
Small trials seemed mountainous
My eyes blinded, but now I see.
How can I ever
let my heart become settled
When this isn't our forever dwell.
The cross you bare
burdens which seem no end
Have been taken, they are not yours
But how can you
Know to let them go
It's my faith you're left to trust.
But I'm broken, too
Forgetting so often
The best of friend taking it as His
May I be that friend,
Until you can know Him, too
Showing love without an end.
His name is Jesus
He had no sin
And took all brokeness at the cross.
To accept it all
Is no small feat
As only One has shown such love
He took it all
For me, for you?
What did we do to deserve?
We did nothing, my boy
But now we must
Accept this beautiful salvation given.
Claim God as Creator,
Jesus as Savior
Holy Spirit whom dwells within
Salvation is ours
Not just a gateway to heaven
But an usher for His kingdom come.
Your broken body
It is being made new
With each prayer and cry, 'Please, God!'
I won't stop praying
Beleving and fighting
Until I my last breath here on this earth
In His hands you lay
So strong and loving
Rest my boy....
He is good.
Saturday, April 13, 2013
A specific prayer request regarding Zeke's diet...
I need wisdom. I have been specifically praying for wisdom for Zeke's diet and some things may be coming together. Through some random Twitter conversations, I have more research to look into involving Zeke's diet and sensitivities.
I'm overwhelmed. It's like, "Oh, hey! I am feeding him the healthiest of foods but oh, his body doesn't like those?!...right."
I need to persevere.
It's exhausting and my brain, the same one I thought was kind of stupid at one point in my life is now proving to show it's not! And there isn't time for stupidity because I have a lot...a lot of information to not only look up, but soak up and apply.
Words like "salicylates". Seriously?
And I'm tired and this same brain isn't getting the rest it needs to function well. So, that's why I am begging for you to not only pray for Zeke's healing, but to pray that we'd get this diet thing figured out. I meet with a new nutritionist on Monday and would truly covet your prayers. Please pray for wisdom for her and for myself as I tackle what Zeke's body needs and cannot tollerate. And again, for perseverance.To persevere in my faith, in researching and trial and error-ing on the diet front, and for all the normal stuff you momma's may struggle with, too. Loving well, mothering and wife-ing (ha! wife-ing. That's funny right there) < --- see, she's going cra cra.
An unedited post just asking for your prayers because I truly need them to help my sweet, sweet boy. And goodnight...my research is over for now.
Thank you. I truly mean it. I'm so thankful for your thoughts, prayers and words of encouragement. They help to keep me going.
I'm overwhelmed. It's like, "Oh, hey! I am feeding him the healthiest of foods but oh, his body doesn't like those?!...right."
I need to persevere.
It's exhausting and my brain, the same one I thought was kind of stupid at one point in my life is now proving to show it's not! And there isn't time for stupidity because I have a lot...a lot of information to not only look up, but soak up and apply.
Words like "salicylates". Seriously?
And I'm tired and this same brain isn't getting the rest it needs to function well. So, that's why I am begging for you to not only pray for Zeke's healing, but to pray that we'd get this diet thing figured out. I meet with a new nutritionist on Monday and would truly covet your prayers. Please pray for wisdom for her and for myself as I tackle what Zeke's body needs and cannot tollerate. And again, for perseverance.To persevere in my faith, in researching and trial and error-ing on the diet front, and for all the normal stuff you momma's may struggle with, too. Loving well, mothering and wife-ing (ha! wife-ing. That's funny right there) < --- see, she's going cra cra.
An unedited post just asking for your prayers because I truly need them to help my sweet, sweet boy. And goodnight...my research is over for now.
Thank you. I truly mean it. I'm so thankful for your thoughts, prayers and words of encouragement. They help to keep me going.
Friday, April 12, 2013
How to kill Jealousy.
James 3:14-16
14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. 15 This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.
My Tweet after seeing jealousy reign in all of the social networking sites I'm a part of. :
'Y'all, aka, ladies. I promise jealousy is a waste of feeling and gives room to lies. Believe the best and love her just as you do yourself.'
I see it, you see it...the internet is as a magnified glass exposing it everywhere I look, including in my own heart. "It" is killing our friendships, our spiritual sisterhood, and our hearts to love the way Jesus loves.
We may feel jealousy with...
An Instagram making us long for something we do not posses.
A Tweet 'proving' we are not as motivated as they are to do what we want to do AND they are actually doing it.
A Facebook post on why their family is perfect and ours must not be.
A Pinterest do-er, not just a Pinterest pinner.
A faith seeming greater than ours.
A blogger who has a pretty blog and 1000+ followers.
A friend with a much better body. Better style.
These struggles above and/or any others you can think of give room in our hearts to believe the lies that whatever it is we long for would make us happy, fulfilled, content. It's not just completely sad that we let our hearts go to that place but it's also wrong. It's a sin to:
...covet our neighbors' things.
Exodus 20:17 “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.”
...forget the love Jesus has for us, uniquely created by him, originally in His perfect image.
Genesis 1:27 " So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them."
And in the end, jealousy looses. The jealous one deals with the pain and discontentment of desiring more than they have. When we have given the person we long to be more like, a "goddess" status in our hearts, we leave less room for the true king, Jesus to reign and we can't possibly love the way he calls us to. And they will always fail us. They will not be all we have made them to be.
I realized recently, by the grace of God and asking God to help me love more like Jesus loves, I don't struggle so much anymore (hence this blog-post hopefully giving you hope how you can also overcome this nasty, evil feeling!). Sure, I get the initial punch when I see or read or hear something about someone but I've taken some time to realize what it is I am doing more of and even doing less of to kill those feelings before it turns to jealousy.
How I kill Jealousy:
I remember who I am in Christ.
I remember the things of this world are only temporary and our home is coming through Jesus' kingdom a coming.
I remember they are loved by Jesus, too...a lot, even (ha!) and I need to love them more in line with His love for them.
We are all made of the same stuff, by the same Creator but flawed (not because He made a mistake but because of The Fall), imperfect and in need of a savior.
Be happy for them if they have accomplished something!! How do we feel when we have succeeded in something?! Why not encourage them?!
Pray.for.them. If you think of them as your enemy, God even tells us to!
Matt 5:44, "But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,"
As I have done these things more and more, I've seen my jealousy fade into the background. I struggle less than I used to.(must remember that I'm still human and must continually fight, not ever assuming I will never struggle)
Here is some grace and hope to go along side this post calling us out on jealousy. You don't have to feel this way anymore. You can be free from this cycle that is killing who you are created to be and also the relationships in your life. Pray and confess to God, asking the Holy Spirit to fill you up.
Know that you are forgiven. He hears our prayers and even when we fail multiple times, His love can handle it.
You have God-given beauty, gifts and talents.Find them out and pursue the dreams you have! Encourage other women to do the same and I promise, these things alone will help your jealousy melt away.
Feel beautiful because you are beautiful!
14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. 15 This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.
My Tweet after seeing jealousy reign in all of the social networking sites I'm a part of. :
'Y'all, aka, ladies. I promise jealousy is a waste of feeling and gives room to lies. Believe the best and love her just as you do yourself.'
I see it, you see it...the internet is as a magnified glass exposing it everywhere I look, including in my own heart. "It" is killing our friendships, our spiritual sisterhood, and our hearts to love the way Jesus loves.
We may feel jealousy with...
An Instagram making us long for something we do not posses.
A Tweet 'proving' we are not as motivated as they are to do what we want to do AND they are actually doing it.
A Facebook post on why their family is perfect and ours must not be.
A Pinterest do-er, not just a Pinterest pinner.
A faith seeming greater than ours.
A blogger who has a pretty blog and 1000+ followers.
A friend with a much better body. Better style.
These struggles above and/or any others you can think of give room in our hearts to believe the lies that whatever it is we long for would make us happy, fulfilled, content. It's not just completely sad that we let our hearts go to that place but it's also wrong. It's a sin to:
...covet our neighbors' things.
Exodus 20:17 “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.”
...forget the love Jesus has for us, uniquely created by him, originally in His perfect image.
Psalm 139:14 "I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well."Genesis 1:27 " So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them."
And in the end, jealousy looses. The jealous one deals with the pain and discontentment of desiring more than they have. When we have given the person we long to be more like, a "goddess" status in our hearts, we leave less room for the true king, Jesus to reign and we can't possibly love the way he calls us to. And they will always fail us. They will not be all we have made them to be.
I realized recently, by the grace of God and asking God to help me love more like Jesus loves, I don't struggle so much anymore (hence this blog-post hopefully giving you hope how you can also overcome this nasty, evil feeling!). Sure, I get the initial punch when I see or read or hear something about someone but I've taken some time to realize what it is I am doing more of and even doing less of to kill those feelings before it turns to jealousy.
How I kill Jealousy:
I remember who I am in Christ.
I remember the things of this world are only temporary and our home is coming through Jesus' kingdom a coming.
I remember they are loved by Jesus, too...a lot, even (ha!) and I need to love them more in line with His love for them.
We are all made of the same stuff, by the same Creator but flawed (not because He made a mistake but because of The Fall), imperfect and in need of a savior.
Be happy for them if they have accomplished something!! How do we feel when we have succeeded in something?! Why not encourage them?!
Pray.for.them. If you think of them as your enemy, God even tells us to!
Matt 5:44, "But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,"
As I have done these things more and more, I've seen my jealousy fade into the background. I struggle less than I used to.(must remember that I'm still human and must continually fight, not ever assuming I will never struggle)
Here is some grace and hope to go along side this post calling us out on jealousy. You don't have to feel this way anymore. You can be free from this cycle that is killing who you are created to be and also the relationships in your life. Pray and confess to God, asking the Holy Spirit to fill you up.
Know that you are forgiven. He hears our prayers and even when we fail multiple times, His love can handle it.
You have God-given beauty, gifts and talents.Find them out and pursue the dreams you have! Encourage other women to do the same and I promise, these things alone will help your jealousy melt away.
Feel beautiful because you are beautiful!
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
The storm blew over...
Tonight, after putting the kids to bed, my momma and I headed outside on my back porch as the storm rolled in. The sky threatening, the wind chilling.
I looked up at the dark sky and wondered what Jesus felt as he was up on that cross and the darkest of skies shadowed over him.
I'm so thankful for his sacrifice for by it, all things can and will be made new.
And because the darkest of skies and most evil of crimes were given to my sweet savior, a storm that eventually blew over, our storms can and will, too.
When Zeke is made new and Jesus gets victory yet once again, I fear one thing...to loose this sense of awe, wonder and understanding how I can call my God 'good' through all of this.
I fear loosing this ongoing conversation I have with him where there is no guilt when I leave the convo and come back only for a quick, desperate plea of help to get me through another hour of a rough day.
To loose the vision I have, as I pray where God and I are in focus and the world around me is blurry and isn't capable to bring me pain or joy because it's just me and my heavenly Father.
This life once so cozy is now a place I see my true calling. In all I do, strive to love with the great love of Jesus. To invite the world into mine so they, too can see there is hope in a broken world. It doesn't stay this way in the end and we can usher God's kingdom in our lives right here, right now.
It was dark and scary but, in the end, we were safe and "the storm blew over".
I looked up at the dark sky and wondered what Jesus felt as he was up on that cross and the darkest of skies shadowed over him.
I'm so thankful for his sacrifice for by it, all things can and will be made new.
And because the darkest of skies and most evil of crimes were given to my sweet savior, a storm that eventually blew over, our storms can and will, too.
When Zeke is made new and Jesus gets victory yet once again, I fear one thing...to loose this sense of awe, wonder and understanding how I can call my God 'good' through all of this.
I fear loosing this ongoing conversation I have with him where there is no guilt when I leave the convo and come back only for a quick, desperate plea of help to get me through another hour of a rough day.
To loose the vision I have, as I pray where God and I are in focus and the world around me is blurry and isn't capable to bring me pain or joy because it's just me and my heavenly Father.
This life once so cozy is now a place I see my true calling. In all I do, strive to love with the great love of Jesus. To invite the world into mine so they, too can see there is hope in a broken world. It doesn't stay this way in the end and we can usher God's kingdom in our lives right here, right now.
It was dark and scary but, in the end, we were safe and "the storm blew over".
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Stuffed Peppers and Kale Chips, please!
Somehow, this was a success. A big one, actually. I figured the kids would eat it but would complain and need motivated by a gluten free sucker after dinner but no...no.
First, I had to pick up tomatoes, cilantro and apples.
Here is how that went...
Stuffed Peppers and Kale Chips
Set oven to 400-425 depending.
I browned two lbs of beef along with
Cutting out the core and seeding 6 peppers.
Cut them in half placing them in a casserole dish.
I went the easy-peasy route and threw 4 medium sized tomatoes, fresh cilantro and 1/2 an onion into the vitamin. It smelled amazing!
After the meat was cooked and drained, I returned it to the frying pan, added the concoction along with 4 cloves of minced garlic, salt, pepper, cumin and ginger seasonings.
The smell, it was fabulous!
After about 10 minutes of letting the juices get absorbed into the meat, I tossed a bigspoon ladle full of the mixture into each pepper half and tossed them into the oven.
Next, I took kale and avoiding the center, I placed chip-sized pieces onto two baking sheets.
I melted a spoonful of coconut oil and poured it onto the kale pieces giving it a good hand stir.
Sprinkled salt and after 15 minutes of the peppers cooking, I added the kale into the oven for another 10-15 minutes.
It was easy but for some reason, time consuming. I could have prepped better and I will next time!
Cy devoured the kale chips and had two servings of stuffed peppers! I really couldn't believe my eyes!
And the hubs said, "That's 2 for 2! You're on a role!"
P.S.Going gluten free is scary for kids and men (and me!) so although I fed my kids extremely healthy most of the time, now it's all in for all of us. And that is an adjustment. No more being hypocritical when they're not looking! Well, there will be less of that, at least but never cheating! ;)
I highly recommend trying these! Surprisingly filling and quite delsih if I do say so myself :)
First, I had to pick up tomatoes, cilantro and apples.
Here is how that went...
Stuffed Peppers and Kale Chips
Set oven to 400-425 depending.
I browned two lbs of beef along with
Cutting out the core and seeding 6 peppers.
Cut them in half placing them in a casserole dish.
I went the easy-peasy route and threw 4 medium sized tomatoes, fresh cilantro and 1/2 an onion into the vitamin. It smelled amazing!
After the meat was cooked and drained, I returned it to the frying pan, added the concoction along with 4 cloves of minced garlic, salt, pepper, cumin and ginger seasonings.
The smell, it was fabulous!
After about 10 minutes of letting the juices get absorbed into the meat, I tossed a big
Next, I took kale and avoiding the center, I placed chip-sized pieces onto two baking sheets.
I melted a spoonful of coconut oil and poured it onto the kale pieces giving it a good hand stir.
Sprinkled salt and after 15 minutes of the peppers cooking, I added the kale into the oven for another 10-15 minutes.
It was easy but for some reason, time consuming. I could have prepped better and I will next time!
Cy devoured the kale chips and had two servings of stuffed peppers! I really couldn't believe my eyes!
And the hubs said, "That's 2 for 2! You're on a role!"
P.S.Going gluten free is scary for kids and men (and me!) so although I fed my kids extremely healthy most of the time, now it's all in for all of us. And that is an adjustment. No more being hypocritical when they're not looking! Well, there will be less of that, at least but never cheating! ;)
I highly recommend trying these! Surprisingly filling and quite delsih if I do say so myself :)
Feeling set apart...
Eisley's been really sick,poor girl. We don't really sleep great due to Zeke's issues but Eisley had me up at 2:45 this morning and somehow I'm still kickin'.
I spent much time in prayer last night...just kind of hanging out with God. I don't really remember uttering any words to him but we were just having this ongoing convo-thing.
I know one thing I do remember was this sense of being set apart from this world. Not me personally but as Zeke's sickness has brought God to a place in my heart that's so much more real than ever, I see this closeness with him that I'm afraid to loose. I don't like Zeke being sick but the day he gets healed, I do not wish to start back up thinking "I've got this". I don't want to get too comfortable again.
Who I was before and the struggles I had seem make my faith seem so juvenile. And they were and yet I still feel I want to be more like Jesus and love him better because I fail far too often.
What I am saying is this: I love my friends and family and I am so thankful for the joys God gives me during the day. The smiles and laughter of my kids, random flowers from my hubby, encouragement from a friend, and sewing and singing and doing things I love to do.
These are all beautiful, joyous gifts God gives me...but, I know now more than ever, there's something coming that is going to blow all of these joys out of the water! Somehow, all of those gifts God gives us each day are going to be magnified into perfection. They will look different but be better. Whole.
You may think I am on a Christian high and maybe I am...but this world isn't my home and I feel it more than ever. I feel it necessary and urgent to be real about my faith with anyone I come in contact with because this world isn't their home either. I want my life and the things I do and say to give opportunity for Jesus to be introduced to them. For all He is and can be in their life, even amidst hardship.
And this is a huge calling that all of us who have called on the name of Jesus as our Lord have. It's not small feat and it's exhausting at times but we must continue to fight this fight here on earth until...you guessed it, 'His kingdom come'.
And when we fail, because we will and do, let's try and be real about it. Forgive each other in a love that requires humility.
I spent much time in prayer last night...just kind of hanging out with God. I don't really remember uttering any words to him but we were just having this ongoing convo-thing.
I know one thing I do remember was this sense of being set apart from this world. Not me personally but as Zeke's sickness has brought God to a place in my heart that's so much more real than ever, I see this closeness with him that I'm afraid to loose. I don't like Zeke being sick but the day he gets healed, I do not wish to start back up thinking "I've got this". I don't want to get too comfortable again.
Who I was before and the struggles I had seem make my faith seem so juvenile. And they were and yet I still feel I want to be more like Jesus and love him better because I fail far too often.
What I am saying is this: I love my friends and family and I am so thankful for the joys God gives me during the day. The smiles and laughter of my kids, random flowers from my hubby, encouragement from a friend, and sewing and singing and doing things I love to do.
These are all beautiful, joyous gifts God gives me...but, I know now more than ever, there's something coming that is going to blow all of these joys out of the water! Somehow, all of those gifts God gives us each day are going to be magnified into perfection. They will look different but be better. Whole.
You may think I am on a Christian high and maybe I am...but this world isn't my home and I feel it more than ever. I feel it necessary and urgent to be real about my faith with anyone I come in contact with because this world isn't their home either. I want my life and the things I do and say to give opportunity for Jesus to be introduced to them. For all He is and can be in their life, even amidst hardship.
And this is a huge calling that all of us who have called on the name of Jesus as our Lord have. It's not small feat and it's exhausting at times but we must continue to fight this fight here on earth until...you guessed it, 'His kingdom come'.
And when we fail, because we will and do, let's try and be real about it. Forgive each other in a love that requires humility.
Saturday, April 6, 2013
A Surprise Recipe (gluten free)
Monday through Wednesday, our friend Shane who is also the Worship Arts pastor invited all of the Creative Team and their families on a fun trip to Hocking Hills.
We pulled up to a beautiful, large cabin in the woods and were welcomed with smiling faces from our newest friends. :)
Due to sickness, the time didn't go as planned but I felt nothing but relaxation, good community and quality time being spent with people who love Jesus and are a joy to be around.
This was also our last "hurrah" before going officially gluten free. So, to say the least, I went all out eating the candy that was so loverly displayed on the counter those three days. Mmm, mmm, good.
Then, Wednesday night hit and I started to stress out about the diet change but pulled myself together to cook asparagus and salmon. I LOVE asparagus so that was easy for me but it literally took me 1 hour to eat my 1/3 portion of salmon. Here are the tweets I shared so I could feel like I was doing it with people and not just pouting by myself in the basement. :
Salmon Tweet #1 :Eating salmon bc I made Eisley (the only one to fight it) and it's healthy.#butbarf #growupbreena
Salmon Tweet #2 (11 minutes later): "Get the behind me salmon!" To me, Salmon=Satan. Fact.
Salmon Tweet #3 (a half hour after my first tweet) "Okay I'm doooooone!' Says the momma of four, like a teenager ;")
Thankfully, everyone else loved it, again excluding Eisley and I. But tonight, Oh tonight! We had chicken and mashed potatoes...or did we?
I started out by asking Andy to take the kids downstairs so I could at least start dinner and because I had a surprise, which I totally did. But what I really meant was take the kids downstairs so I can hide what I was really making.
Guys! Those are NOT mashed potatoes. Thems is cauliflowers. And my husband is going to point at me and say, "YOU! YOU ARE BAD!" after reading this! hahahah! But you loved them, babe! You.Loved.Them.
Cyrus says, "This is the BEST DINNER EVER!!!!" and I smilled making sure he'd already taken a bite of the chicken AND the "mashed potatoes".
Eisley says, "Huh. This tastes like cauliflower." and I let out a little laugh, then I froze and looked up seeing no one had caught on to her loud-mouth-of-an-opinion. ;)
Andy says, "This is seriously so good, babe."
The chicken was slathered in olive oil and then pressed into Almond Flour. Simple. Easy. Then sprinkled with salt and thrown in the oven at 375 for abount 35 minutes.
I put two heads of cauliflower in a pot 1/4 filled of water, put the lid on and put the burner on medium heat. It took about 25 minutes to finish.
While that was boiling, I pulled out my "surprise" and made fried bacon to sprinkle on top.
I made everyone go back downstairs (he.he.he) and took a fork to the cauliflower. I then took some whole, plain yogurt and added it along with some salt and pepper. I used my hand mixer and blended everything until the cauliflower resembled mashed potatoes. And it did.
I was seriously freaking out wondering who would notice first but, other than Eisley, no one noticed!
I had to keep from laughing so many times, tonight! It was as if myself and I had all these silly, inside jokes and it was lonely but now I get to share them with all of you!!!
Bonus joke: Andy has been, to say the least, not.excited.about.this.diet.change. so we've had our sweet little tiffs about it so when he sat down, ever so sweetly tonight and said, "Babe, it really meant a lot to me that you made dinner so good and healthy. I felt like with the surprise bacon, you showed us love. And I felt really loved because you know how much I love mashed potatoes. They were really good. So, thank you."
MY MISCHIEVOUS SMILE BECAME THAT OF SHAME...I really do love you, babe! And I really did make this all for you but...it wasn't what you thought.
Can I laugh now?! Can I freakin' let it all out because it was such a GREAT DINNER NIGHT FOR THIS MOMMA CHALK ONE UP FOR ME I WIN I'M THE WINNER YAY.
I feel that.good. I did it! and I can do this...I can make healthy food that is also really yummy. I've learned that showing the kids the yummy foods that they can eat is so much more helpful than telling them what they cannot have anymore...I'll leave that to them ;)
On the menu the rest of this weekend/week? Stuffed peppers, burgers with feta and another chicken dish. Bring it, gluten-free lifestyle. I'm going to raise you one and not feed my family a bunch of starchy foods just because they are gluten free. I will feed my family healthy and whole (and get myself gluten free candy bars sometimes) because they.are.worth.it.
Have you ever done the cauliflower for mashed potato switch-a-roo?! Have any other ideas to share?!
Off to eat Dove Dark chocolate and watch our shows ;)
We pulled up to a beautiful, large cabin in the woods and were welcomed with smiling faces from our newest friends. :)
Due to sickness, the time didn't go as planned but I felt nothing but relaxation, good community and quality time being spent with people who love Jesus and are a joy to be around.
This was also our last "hurrah" before going officially gluten free. So, to say the least, I went all out eating the candy that was so loverly displayed on the counter those three days. Mmm, mmm, good.
Then, Wednesday night hit and I started to stress out about the diet change but pulled myself together to cook asparagus and salmon. I LOVE asparagus so that was easy for me but it literally took me 1 hour to eat my 1/3 portion of salmon. Here are the tweets I shared so I could feel like I was doing it with people and not just pouting by myself in the basement. :
Salmon Tweet #1 :Eating salmon bc I made Eisley (the only one to fight it) and it's healthy.
Salmon Tweet #2 (11 minutes later): "Get the behind me salmon!" To me, Salmon=Satan. Fact.
Salmon Tweet #3 (a half hour after my first tweet) "Okay I'm doooooone!' Says the momma of four, like a teenager ;")
Thankfully, everyone else loved it, again excluding Eisley and I. But tonight, Oh tonight! We had chicken and mashed potatoes...or did we?
I started out by asking Andy to take the kids downstairs so I could at least start dinner and because I had a surprise, which I totally did. But what I really meant was take the kids downstairs so I can hide what I was really making.
Guys! Those are NOT mashed potatoes. Thems is cauliflowers. And my husband is going to point at me and say, "YOU! YOU ARE BAD!" after reading this! hahahah! But you loved them, babe! You.Loved.Them.
Cyrus says, "This is the BEST DINNER EVER!!!!" and I smilled making sure he'd already taken a bite of the chicken AND the "mashed potatoes".
Eisley says, "Huh. This tastes like cauliflower." and I let out a little laugh, then I froze and looked up seeing no one had caught on to her loud-mouth-of-an-opinion. ;)
Andy says, "This is seriously so good, babe."
The chicken was slathered in olive oil and then pressed into Almond Flour. Simple. Easy. Then sprinkled with salt and thrown in the oven at 375 for abount 35 minutes.
I put two heads of cauliflower in a pot 1/4 filled of water, put the lid on and put the burner on medium heat. It took about 25 minutes to finish.
While that was boiling, I pulled out my "surprise" and made fried bacon to sprinkle on top.
I made everyone go back downstairs (he.he.he) and took a fork to the cauliflower. I then took some whole, plain yogurt and added it along with some salt and pepper. I used my hand mixer and blended everything until the cauliflower resembled mashed potatoes. And it did.
I was seriously freaking out wondering who would notice first but, other than Eisley, no one noticed!
I had to keep from laughing so many times, tonight! It was as if myself and I had all these silly, inside jokes and it was lonely but now I get to share them with all of you!!!
Bonus joke: Andy has been, to say the least, not.excited.about.this.diet.change. so we've had our sweet little tiffs about it so when he sat down, ever so sweetly tonight and said, "Babe, it really meant a lot to me that you made dinner so good and healthy. I felt like with the surprise bacon, you showed us love. And I felt really loved because you know how much I love mashed potatoes. They were really good. So, thank you."
MY MISCHIEVOUS SMILE BECAME THAT OF SHAME...I really do love you, babe! And I really did make this all for you but...it wasn't what you thought.
Can I laugh now?! Can I freakin' let it all out because it was such a GREAT DINNER NIGHT FOR THIS MOMMA CHALK ONE UP FOR ME I WIN I'M THE WINNER YAY.
I feel that.good. I did it! and I can do this...I can make healthy food that is also really yummy. I've learned that showing the kids the yummy foods that they can eat is so much more helpful than telling them what they cannot have anymore...I'll leave that to them ;)
On the menu the rest of this weekend/week? Stuffed peppers, burgers with feta and another chicken dish. Bring it, gluten-free lifestyle. I'm going to raise you one and not feed my family a bunch of starchy foods just because they are gluten free. I will feed my family healthy and whole (and get myself gluten free candy bars sometimes) because they.are.worth.it.
Have you ever done the cauliflower for mashed potato switch-a-roo?! Have any other ideas to share?!
Off to eat Dove Dark chocolate and watch our shows ;)
Friday, April 5, 2013
Diet Change...bring it.
As if my plate is not already completely full, Zeke's blood and genetic testing came back and basically, without doing any final testing due to the fact that Zeke's diet is very clean and healthy and has been for almost 6 months, he shows many signs of Celiacs disease.
His doctor is confident that it's in our family and with the history I have shared with her on how I have personally seen carby foods effect my kids negatively, we are, at the least, a gluten-intolerant family and have celiac disease somewhere. Even as a child, I remember the pain certian foods would cause my stomach and I see it in my own kids. We do NOT have to live like this.
Our amazing pediatrician quickly mentioned that I will run into nah-sayers. People who think we are just jumping on the latest fad-diet. Guess what?! We ARE! People are going GF all over and when they stick to it for months to clear out their gut, many are seeing some major, life-transforming results.
She made it clear when she firmly said that we truly need to get gluten out of our house and our system and she's confident we will see very positive results.
Poor Bexley has chronic ear infections along with signs of overgrowth of yeast in her system. Did you know craddle cap is a major sign of overgrowth of yeast as is eczema?! Whoops!
Cyrus acts like he has a cloud over his head and it just generally negative when he's had a lot of bread. He seems much happier when we take even MOST of it out...can't wait to see my happy boy again! I know he's in there ;)
Eisley is obsessed.with.carbs. Also, another sign. Consumed with food and wanting to eat. 'She get it from her momma!'
Sugar. When a test on rats was given with their choice of either cocain (highly addictive) and sugar-water, they continued to choose the sugar water. Eeek! I would too! (for more reasons than one) haha!
I know 3 people who were so sick, they were told they may not make it or would just have to live with the life-sucking symptoms. They took out gluten out and their health is better than ever!
I'm not hear to explain why we are doing it other than what I have already said OR convince you that your family needs to jump on board. Everyone responds to food differently.
I am kindly asking for encouragement and for any of you who are in our lives, to respect in every possible way, our new lifestyle. You don't have to bend over backwards for us by eating what we eat. I will hopefully always have a snack to take to play-dates, gf dishes to share at gatherings, etc! It's our life/diet we have to change, not yours.
I'm not excited about all the changes but I am a wife and momma who cares about her family and is constantly fighting with every fiber in my being, to help my kids to be as healthy as they can not only for their lives but for their children's lives. To help take any obstacles they may have due to diet out of their system so they can be more of the boy or girl their Creator created them to be! To bring order to chaos in Jesus' name!
I'm so thankful for those of you who I have shared this new information with and are willing to help us get started. By prayers, words of encouragement and even sending me recipes (Thanks, Tricia! Just got your email you sweet thing!) What a blessing!
I'm all about Elana's Pantry and excited to find more blogs! If you have any questions about going gf, I'd love to assist you in my little knowledge and also be there to encourage you if needed.
Along with the new diet change and with all of this research I have been doing over the last however many years, I am seeing how important it is to rid our lives of toxins as much as possible. I have done this slowly over the years through natural, plant-based skin care products, soaps, detergents, etc. but now, with a child who suffers from retractable epilepsy and learning on how many children who suffer from epilepsy have a toxic build up, we need to go all out in ridding our home of toxins.
Here are some things I'm doing (or going to do)
1.Shower curtains. Clothe only (or alternative). I have heard many times that the plastic liner that has a strong smell when you first open it up, is full of toxins.
2.Pots, pans and cookware, oh my! I'm going to get all Pyrex and Stoneware. Just a few pennies, I'm sure ;)
3.Getting even more aggressive on our laundry detergent. I have seen many homemade detergents that are good but the Borax makes me nervous. I am all about Baking Soda and Vinegar. Anyone have a super-duper, non-toxic recipe?
4.Diapers. Ugh...I think it's time. Cloth. I'm currently sobbing rivers and oceans over this one. I'd like more laundry, please! Thanks! Currently, when I change the kids' diapers, my hands are sucked dry of any moister I have...they smell toxic, so they must go...boo.hoo.hoo. Send me your best products! Bring it!
5.Dishwaher detergent. Anyone have suggestions? I am always re-rinsing our dishes of the detergent because it smells so chemically but I'd rather skip that step. Something that isn't going to harm our family. Thoughts?
6. Water softener. Our water has always been harsh on my skin and when family comes in, they say they smell the chlorine (or something) in our water...so I think we should invest in one.
That's all I can think of for now. If you have any other suggestions, I'd love to hear them!
Oh, and I am working with a dietitian who works with the GAPS diet and Keto diet and does phone consultations! She works specifically with children with special needs. It's glorious to be given so many dr.'s who get it. Who are trying to get to the root of the issue. Thank you, Jesus!
Blessings!
Your friend, the hippie. ;)
His doctor is confident that it's in our family and with the history I have shared with her on how I have personally seen carby foods effect my kids negatively, we are, at the least, a gluten-intolerant family and have celiac disease somewhere. Even as a child, I remember the pain certian foods would cause my stomach and I see it in my own kids. We do NOT have to live like this.
Our amazing pediatrician quickly mentioned that I will run into nah-sayers. People who think we are just jumping on the latest fad-diet. Guess what?! We ARE! People are going GF all over and when they stick to it for months to clear out their gut, many are seeing some major, life-transforming results.
She made it clear when she firmly said that we truly need to get gluten out of our house and our system and she's confident we will see very positive results.
Poor Bexley has chronic ear infections along with signs of overgrowth of yeast in her system. Did you know craddle cap is a major sign of overgrowth of yeast as is eczema?! Whoops!
Cyrus acts like he has a cloud over his head and it just generally negative when he's had a lot of bread. He seems much happier when we take even MOST of it out...can't wait to see my happy boy again! I know he's in there ;)
Eisley is obsessed.with.carbs. Also, another sign. Consumed with food and wanting to eat. 'She get it from her momma!'
Sugar. When a test on rats was given with their choice of either cocain (highly addictive) and sugar-water, they continued to choose the sugar water. Eeek! I would too! (for more reasons than one) haha!
I know 3 people who were so sick, they were told they may not make it or would just have to live with the life-sucking symptoms. They took out gluten out and their health is better than ever!
I'm not hear to explain why we are doing it other than what I have already said OR convince you that your family needs to jump on board. Everyone responds to food differently.
I am kindly asking for encouragement and for any of you who are in our lives, to respect in every possible way, our new lifestyle. You don't have to bend over backwards for us by eating what we eat. I will hopefully always have a snack to take to play-dates, gf dishes to share at gatherings, etc! It's our life/diet we have to change, not yours.
I'm not excited about all the changes but I am a wife and momma who cares about her family and is constantly fighting with every fiber in my being, to help my kids to be as healthy as they can not only for their lives but for their children's lives. To help take any obstacles they may have due to diet out of their system so they can be more of the boy or girl their Creator created them to be! To bring order to chaos in Jesus' name!
I'm so thankful for those of you who I have shared this new information with and are willing to help us get started. By prayers, words of encouragement and even sending me recipes (Thanks, Tricia! Just got your email you sweet thing!) What a blessing!
I'm all about Elana's Pantry and excited to find more blogs! If you have any questions about going gf, I'd love to assist you in my little knowledge and also be there to encourage you if needed.
Along with the new diet change and with all of this research I have been doing over the last however many years, I am seeing how important it is to rid our lives of toxins as much as possible. I have done this slowly over the years through natural, plant-based skin care products, soaps, detergents, etc. but now, with a child who suffers from retractable epilepsy and learning on how many children who suffer from epilepsy have a toxic build up, we need to go all out in ridding our home of toxins.
Here are some things I'm doing (or going to do)
1.Shower curtains. Clothe only (or alternative). I have heard many times that the plastic liner that has a strong smell when you first open it up, is full of toxins.
2.Pots, pans and cookware, oh my! I'm going to get all Pyrex and Stoneware. Just a few pennies, I'm sure ;)
3.Getting even more aggressive on our laundry detergent. I have seen many homemade detergents that are good but the Borax makes me nervous. I am all about Baking Soda and Vinegar. Anyone have a super-duper, non-toxic recipe?
4.Diapers. Ugh...I think it's time. Cloth. I'm currently sobbing rivers and oceans over this one. I'd like more laundry, please! Thanks! Currently, when I change the kids' diapers, my hands are sucked dry of any moister I have...they smell toxic, so they must go...boo.hoo.hoo. Send me your best products! Bring it!
5.Dishwaher detergent. Anyone have suggestions? I am always re-rinsing our dishes of the detergent because it smells so chemically but I'd rather skip that step. Something that isn't going to harm our family. Thoughts?
6. Water softener. Our water has always been harsh on my skin and when family comes in, they say they smell the chlorine (or something) in our water...so I think we should invest in one.
That's all I can think of for now. If you have any other suggestions, I'd love to hear them!
Oh, and I am working with a dietitian who works with the GAPS diet and Keto diet and does phone consultations! She works specifically with children with special needs. It's glorious to be given so many dr.'s who get it. Who are trying to get to the root of the issue. Thank you, Jesus!
Blessings!
Your friend, the hippie. ;)
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