Friday, April 12, 2013

How to kill Jealousy.

 James 3:14-16
14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. 15 This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.

My Tweet after seeing jealousy reign in all of the social networking sites I'm a part of. :
'Y'all, aka, ladies. I promise jealousy is a waste of feeling and gives room to lies. Believe the best and love her just as you do yourself.'

I see it, you see it...the internet is as a magnified glass exposing it everywhere I look, including in my own heart. "It" is killing our friendships, our spiritual sisterhood, and our hearts to love the way Jesus loves.

We may feel jealousy with...

An Instagram making us long for something we do not posses.

A Tweet 'proving' we are not as motivated as they are to do what we want to do AND they are actually doing it.

A Facebook post on why their family is perfect and ours must not be.

A Pinterest do-er, not just a Pinterest pinner.

A faith seeming greater than ours.

A blogger who has a pretty blog and 1000+ followers.

A friend with a much better body. Better style.

These struggles above and/or any others you can think of give room in our hearts to believe the lies that whatever it is we long for would make us happy, fulfilled, content. It's not just completely sad that we let our hearts go to that place but it's also wrong. It's a sin to:

...covet our neighbors' things.
Exodus 20:17 “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.”

...forget the love Jesus has for us, uniquely created by him, originally in His perfect image.
Psalm 139:14  "I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well."
Genesis 1:27 " So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them."

And in the end, jealousy looses. The jealous one deals with the pain and discontentment of desiring more than they have. When we have given the person we long to be more like, a "goddess"  status in our hearts, we leave less room for the true king, Jesus to reign and we can't possibly love the way he calls us to. And they will always fail us. They will not be all we have made them to be.

I realized recently, by the grace of God and asking God to help me love more like Jesus loves, I don't struggle so much anymore (hence this blog-post hopefully giving you hope how you can also overcome this nasty, evil feeling!). Sure, I get the initial punch when I see or read or hear something about someone but I've taken some time to realize what it is I am doing more of and even doing less of to kill those feelings before it turns to jealousy.

How I kill Jealousy:

I remember who I am in Christ.

I remember the things of this world are only temporary and our home is coming through Jesus' kingdom a coming.

I remember they are loved by Jesus, too...a lot, even (ha!) and I need to love them more in line with His love for them.

We are all made of the same stuff, by the same Creator  but flawed (not because He made a mistake but because of The Fall), imperfect and in need of a savior.

Be happy for them if they have accomplished something!!  How do we feel when we have succeeded in something?! Why not encourage them?!

Pray.for.them. If you think of them as your enemy, God even tells us to!
Matt 5:44, "But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,"

As I have done these things more and more, I've seen my jealousy fade into the background. I struggle less than I used to.(must remember that I'm still human and must continually fight, not ever assuming I will never struggle)

Here is some grace and hope to go along side this post calling us out on jealousy. You don't have to feel this way anymore. You can be free from this cycle that is killing who you are created to be and also the relationships in your life. Pray and confess to God, asking the Holy Spirit to fill you up.

Know that you are forgiven. He hears our prayers and even when we fail multiple times, His love can handle it.

You have God-given beauty, gifts and talents.Find them out and pursue the dreams you have! Encourage other women to do the same and I promise, these things alone will help your jealousy melt away.

Feel beautiful because you are beautiful!


  1. lovely post bree :) god bless you

    1. Thank you :) I wish I knew who to thank but God bless you, too!