Notice, receive and cherish blessings.

How often are we blessed?! No matter what our life looks like, if we open our eyes a bit more, there is blessing all around us. What are you dwelling on? The good or the bad?

When I'm focusing or being overwhelmed with the bad, I.am.ugly. My kids are afraid to open their mouths, my husband walks on eggshells around me. Oh, and cross me after yelling at my kid, telling them to disobey what I've just asked them to do at after school pick-up, well then you will for sure meet Momma bear who rarely reflects the love of Jesus! < --- That may have just happened ;)

And it shows in my Twitter feed, my facebook status', etc. And when other people around me are focusing on the negative, it's not very fun to be around them. Am I right?

Through this time of Zeke's health depleting, we have come a ways in learning what it means to find good in the bad, just like God does all the time. He takes really bad things and can somehow turn them into something so beautiful. (the cross. one of many examples)

As I pray at night, I want my kids to hear my long prayer (they say, "Yeah, that was kind of long. Ha!) of the blessings I see in the midst of this chaos so they can learn first hand, how to feel blessed in a trial that at times, seems to suck life out of all of us.

I want to share with you blessings that God has poured out on us due to our friends (some we do not know very well or even at all!) letting God speak to them and obeying him. Not to brag as it wasn't anything we did, but God through them.

On Monday, I wanted to bless Andy by planning a surprise date. I didn't expect I would find a sitter anytime soon. I went ahead and texted my friend Emmy who is just as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside to see if, "So, could you maybe come over some time after I put the kids to bed so I can take Andy out on a surprise date?!" followed very quickly by my comments that prove how guilty I feel for asking, "but if you can't I totally understand and don't feel bad!"

She replied quickly saying she could THE NEXT NIGHT and I was glad I didn't let my guilt keep me from asking.

We had such a great time and he felt so loved. He's been working so hard for our family and hasn't had much time for doing all the studying/bible-reading/preaching stuff he's called to do so he's a little on empty.

Emmy saying yes wasn't just a really sweet thing for her to do, it was a way she heard a need and obeyed God by being willing to serve others. And I am so thankful for that because it's dates like we had that keep our marriage, well, a marriage and not another statistic of a couple with a special needs child. Her saying yes gave us a time to remember who we are apart from having kids...to remember our love that was once such an easy thing to do but is now a lot harder to work at.

And icing on the cake?! A late-night chat with a really cool gal. Thanks, Emmy! I love you dearly!

Yesterday, I opened up some mail and instead of another medical bill, it was a gift of money. The card read,

"Holt Family,

We heard you had a need. The Lord has given us extra $ this past month. We were called to send our blessing to you.

Love,

Your brothers and sisters in Christ."

And, I got choked up, cried and quickly prayed thanking God not knowing who it was from. Then sent Andy a text sharing with him the way we were blessed. I prayed again asking God to show me how we could use this money.

Later that day, I finally got a call back from our new nutritionalist (who was supposed to call back 2 days prior) who uses diet as a from of medicine which then isn't covered by our insurance. They told me that it'd cost $195 per hour and the first phone call would be aprox 1.5 hours.  Guys, the amount is almost exactly what we need in order to pay for Zeke's new nutritional plan! What a blessing!!!! What a God!!

THEN, my friend/bible study leader calls and tells me that many of my friends who are in this study and some from our life group ask how they can help me and she just didn't know what to specifically say because I really didn't know. I just love all the prayer and the way they have come along side us during this difficult time.

Well, they put their heads together and since Amber heard me say, "I just wish I could clean my house!" as I am with Zeke (at almost all times during the day) and then I have 3 others, they decided to gather up some funds so I could enjoy a cleaning lady to come in and help.

Wow. Not only is this a freaking amazing gift for me, it was just.so.thoughtful. A cleaning lady?!  Yes! Yes! I could totally use that! I'm really excited. I have never had one!  whooo hoo!

Today at the dr.'s, she spoke to me like a friend. I didn't feel like a number or that she was on a timeline. She took a 45 minute appointment and talked to me for 1.5 hours. She was present and full of good information. She is giving us services even though our insurance doesn't pay for them. Did  I mention EVERYONE KNOWS ABOUT HER?! She's amazing! God bless her!!

I'm so emotional over all of this. I got an email from my friend/bible-study leader telling me who had given so I could thank them and through my tears it hit me...God's pouring out so much goodness and He's using His people to do so!

We as Christians have such a high calling to not only hear what God is calling us to do but to be obedient. And all of these examples of my sisters and brothers in Christ are proof of Christ's love shining through all the chaos.

And I get to receive these blessings. It's hard to continue to be at a place where I am in need of blessings/help because with our trial we face, it feels I have very little to give back. But, receiving a blessing has nothing to do with the afterthought of feeling like I need to give back.

Part of being gifted a blessing is learning to accept them with open arms, a thankful heart and no guilt attached. I'm learning this and it helps that not once have any of our friends at LifePoint or the sitters I have asked from our Ember days given me room to feel like I owe them. Never. That alone is a blessing!

I want to emphasis yet again that prayer is such a blessing! Interceding on behalf of our family and Zeke's health is one of the most precious of gifts and we are eternally thankful! We feel them and God hears them! Bless you, prayer warriors!

My season will come again when I will have the time to bless others, too. Hopefully God is somehow using me to bless others right now. I want to be used always, no matter the season. It may just look differently.

My life verse:

Jeremiah 17:7-8

⁷ “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
    whose trust is the Lord.
⁸ He is like a tree planted by water,
    that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes,
    for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
    for it does not cease to bear fruit.”

I want to notice, fully receive and cherish the ways God is blessing us each and every day and again, if we open our eyes a little more, we will see they are all around us.

P.S. Zeke is so joyful these days. He laughs when tickled, is somehow very present when I talk to him amidst all the seizures. God's kingdom is a comin'!! Amen.

Bless you, sweet readers!

Bree