Eisley's been really sick,poor girl. We don't really sleep great due to Zeke's issues but Eisley had me up at 2:45 this morning and somehow I'm still kickin'.
I spent much time in prayer last night...just kind of hanging out with God. I don't really remember uttering any words to him but we were just having this ongoing convo-thing.
I know one thing I do remember was this sense of being set apart from this world. Not me personally but as Zeke's sickness has brought God to a place in my heart that's so much more real than ever, I see this closeness with him that I'm afraid to loose. I don't like Zeke being sick but the day he gets healed, I do not wish to start back up thinking "I've got this". I don't want to get too comfortable again.
Who I was before and the struggles I had seem make my faith seem so juvenile. And they were and yet I still feel I want to be more like Jesus and love him better because I fail far too often.
What I am saying is this: I love my friends and family and I am so thankful for the joys God gives me during the day. The smiles and laughter of my kids, random flowers from my hubby, encouragement from a friend, and sewing and singing and doing things I love to do.
These are all beautiful, joyous gifts God gives me...but, I know now more than ever, there's something coming that is going to blow all of these joys out of the water! Somehow, all of those gifts God gives us each day are going to be magnified into perfection. They will look different but be better. Whole.
You may think I am on a Christian high and maybe I am...but this world isn't my home and I feel it more than ever. I feel it necessary and urgent to be real about my faith with anyone I come in contact with because this world isn't their home either. I want my life and the things I do and say to give opportunity for Jesus to be introduced to them. For all He is and can be in their life, even amidst hardship.
And this is a huge calling that all of us who have called on the name of Jesus as our Lord have. It's not small feat and it's exhausting at times but we must continue to fight this fight here on earth until...you guessed it, 'His kingdom come'.
And when we fail, because we will and do, let's try and be real about it. Forgive each other in a love that requires humility.
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