It doesn't last forever...

Yesterday Eisley was excitedly telling me something.  I didn't hear her, I just watched her.  I watched her throw her hands up in the air as she explained something with such beautiful drama.  She then pranced away and it hit me.  I was once that little girl in my own home and here I am, the mother of my own children.  This will not last forever...

I thought about Cyrus and how I remembered the moment my milk came in and I became his source of food as I rocked him and thanked Jesus.  I remember him as such a bright, young boy who I just couldn't wait to get to know more and more as he grew.  And grow he has.  Too fast.  I never knew it would go this fast, but I sure do now.  His round head as a baby and eagerness to cuddle and be kissed upon didn't last forever.  His goofy "booty" dances and silly ways of saying things will not last forever...

I remember thinking finding out I was having a girl and her she was already named.  Eisley Bree.  I was excited telling Andy, "We've only had a boy.  What will it be like to have a girl?"  I remember when she was beginning to smile and I said, "Look!  She smile with her eyes!"  How is she 4?!  I remember rocking her to sleep, singing the same song and reading the same book.  I remember holding her with Zeke in my big belly...it didn't last forever...

Zeke was such a good-sleeper-baby-boy.  I remember hard times when he was an infant as I struggled to feed my baby with my own milk supply.  Those hard times didn't last forever.  I remember how he was such a cute baby!  I remember feeding him his bottle with his big, brown eyes gawking up at me.  I loved those times.  Getting into everything, making crazy messes, his need for me to be the one to rock him before tucking him in and even his silence will not last forever...

Bexley Jane, I know all too well now.  You'll grow.  Your face will change, you will not always "seem" so sweet and yes, I'll even want to scream at you in the future.  I know that your smile, giggles, enticement with all around you will not last forever....

My throat is thick as I try to hold back tears and I'm losing.  Time is going oh so quickly.  It's slipping through my fingers and I just want to make it stop.  Even with all of the trials that are here in our lives right now, I just want to be.  Be with my babies forever.

I'm thankful for the hope I have in Jesus.  As I teach my children that no matter what happens here on earth, we have hope in Jesus that we'll all be together someday, I receive peace.  It's going to be even better in heaven.  What a beautiful hope that is!