So, your a mother (if not now, maybe you will be someday?) and you love your babies. A lot. And you want them to know and feel your love. You want them to love Jesus and others. You want them to be successful and use the gifts and talents God has given them. You want them to know that no matter what, Jesus will always love them.
So you try. You try really hard to be the momma God has called you to be. You read the bible to know what to teach your kids (or even better, you read the bible to your kids), you read books on parenting, you try and fail and try, try, try again!
Sound familiar? Gosh, I love my babies and I bet you do to. I am always trying to figure out what is best for them and it is extremely exhausting. This is one of the many reasons I'm thankful for the power of prayer. I pray about these things, cry to Jesus about these things and sometimes, I don't get a loud answer but I seek wisdom to direct my path.
Last week, I decided it was best to get a little extra help with Zekey boy. First of all, Zeke is getting more and more frustrated and so are his older siblings. I have gotten over my own frustrations and started trying to just work with him more. I was frustrated out of fear. The silly lie that Zeke will never talk.
So I went ahead and called the nurse line at our pediatrician's office. She recommended the free thing first (I just love free) which was "Help Me Grow". So I made an appointment and I'm so glad I did!
First of all, I knew I could only take Zeke and Bexley. This needed to be a time Zeke was being focused on. So I had to find someone willing to watch Cy and Eisley. Found a sweet servant of Jesus to help me out. Thanks, Mary! The kids are still talking about how much fun they had!
So, we went yesterday. I was blown away by everyone's willingness not only to interact with Zeke and make him feel special, but also watch him as he tried to escape (it wouldn't be a day with Zeke without some escaping!). I answered about 40 questions about Zeke and how he interacts with people, his behaviors, the noises he makes, etc. It wasn't bad.
We had a total of 4 people come in to work with him and talk with me. I felt so cared for as they played with Zeke and took interest in my struggles or should I say our (plural) struggles with his lack of talking.
Zeke ended up scoring above in a few areas and of course with his speech he scored low enough to be able to get free help from Help Me Grow. One woman came in and give me ideas on how to help him talk until I get the in home visits from another woman to work with us. So glad I did this and I'm so hopeful for the near future of Zekey communicating with us through words. Yay! He did great, by the way!
P.S. Zeke's latest thing is to drag a chair over to the sink and play in the water...for hours. I have to peel him away. So, to save money I think we'll invest in a water table, in the winter, with towels and towels all over the kitchen. Anything to keep my little explorer busy!
Another thing I'm wrestling with is homeschooling. I really love it, most of the time. I just do not know what it will look like with homeschooling more than one kid at a time. Actually, the thing I struggle with more is how I feel I work so much with Cyrus, I am not able to "be" with my other babies. This all could be something I just need to adjust in my day, or maybe next year it will just be too much as Cy's workload will grow. And, do I stick with the current program or switch so that I can teach more than one child at the same time? Does Eisley need to be around people more? She's such a social butterfly.
I wake up some mornings thinking, "Why not send him to school? I've poured Jesus into his heart and will continue to, why stay away from being a witness to other kids and families in school?" or "I wonder if we could go to a private Christian school?"
P.S. since I wrote this a few days ago...I should say I was up all night praying and this was one of the things that came up (of course) and I feel more peace about looking into a different curriculum. We are currently using K12 which has been AMAZING but doing that with more than one kid at a time, using the computer as much as we do, I just think that will get tricky.
I have heard many things about Classical Conversations and although I have not ruled it out completely, I am leaning towards no. I get the idea, but I've already exposed Cyrus to so much about learning, for instance history and he really gets it. No need to memorize. So we'll see! I'll keep praying about it and picking other home-school momma's brains :)
Ya see, always trying to do what's right and it's just so dang exhausting. The comforting thing is, I'm truly seeking God and what He has for each child. Praying that God would help me to parent my children so they grow up into being who He wants them to be.
Can I get an Amen, mommas?
Amen! Going through my court battle, the whole time they keep saying that visitation schedules are set in the best interest of the child. I've been really struggling because I have no idea how to make "the best" schedule for Savannah. Ugh. We've come to an agreement now so I've just got to trust that God is in control and will make this work out the best for her!
ReplyDeleteWell, i I feel as though I'm right there with you! With having kids, and comes some really hard decisions to make, and and you always want to do what's right for them. My big struggle lately has been church. I never grew up in a house where church was important. I believe in God, and but never had a relationship with Him. I've been struggling with prayer and motivation to take my kids to church. But I have finally come to the realization that it is my responsibility to make sure my kids know and are learning, and so that they can have a relationship with God. They will never know if I don't help guide them... This is all new to me, so but I've been praying every night for direction and guidance. This is something I have to do, yet and it's making me anxious, and because I don't know how to talk to my babies about Jesus and Heaven. Do you have any suggestions? This is really weighing on me. I feel so guilty that I haven't made an effort before. It's time to make a change in this house!!!!
ReplyDeleteTess, something is wrong with blogger because I go the email saying that you commented, but it isn't here! Anywho, praying, praying, praying for you, my friend! That's a tough one. But you are SO SO right! Giving it over to God is the BEST thing you can do. Cry out to him and let him know your requests. He loves you and Savannah so much!!!
ReplyDeleteDannielle, first of all thank you for your honesty. It's a FABULOUS way to get healing in your life. Know this, God loves you and he sees your desires are good. He'll bless that no matter what. And to anxiety I say, that isn't from God. The enemy is going to do anything and everything from keeping you further from a relationship with Jesus. He'll tell you lies that you are not a good momma, he'll make you anxious and in those times you should know that the power of prayer and the name of Jesus (saying his name out loud) is extremely powerful. I've witnessed it first hand. Anyway, my brother was far from God for many years and recently was brought to his lowest of low and just kept praying that God would give him faith. Faith that he knew he didn't have but wanted. God blessed that! Keep praying to him, ask him to open your eyes to what He wants you to see. And of course, the only way to heaven or to have a relationship with Jesus is to confess your need for him and confess that you are a sinner and He is the only way to be saved. Through the ultimate gift of love on the cross where he died for the sins of the world. And he loves you. He loves you very, very much. As far as your kids, I'd get them into church and as you learn, teach them. Show them Jesus, yes through your words, but also through your actions. Love your kids the way Jesus loves and when you fail (we ALL do) let them know it. Let them know that you are trying and ask them for forgiveness and pray with them. You're a GREAT momma!!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks :) I feel like I need all the encouragement I can get right now! But the first step is getting to church. We are going this Sunday and I'm looking forward to learning as much as I can about the bible. I want so badly to be able to talk to my kids and teach them, but I don't have the knowledge to do it yet. I'm hoping to get into some kind of ladies bible study or group once I get settled in at church. I'm really hoping that this church will be the right one for us!
ReplyDeleteI'm going through a similar struggle with my 8 month old, debating whether or not to call for an evaluation over his physical development. As mothers, we should trust our gut feelings. I'm glad that you trusted your instincts & went ahead & got him seen for his speech. I am so reluctant to ask for help....BUT I know something is wrong. I've been putting off making that call for so long, praying that he'll soon sit up or start crawling, but still NOTHING. I agree..decisisons can be so EXHAUSTING when it comes to our kids. We want to make the right decisions & then continue to question ourselves when we do come to a decision. It's never ending. Thanks for the encouragement & I'm glad to know I'm not the only mother struggling to find what's best for our kids:-)
ReplyDeleteIt's crazy difficult, isn't it? In the end I think it's great to get them evaluated just to see where they are. If they test fine, then I think it's best to just give over any anxieties with God. He's capable of handling that "stuff" for us ;) You are NOT the only one. Us mommas are in this together!
DeleteBree-
ReplyDeleteI'm struggling w/ the same thing about k12- I do NOT want to be so attached to the computer all the time- I feel like we don't get to spend nearly enough time just playing with Daisy- so we actually have been led- through prayer- to 1- get rid of the internet after this school year is over-( for several reasons) 2- b/c of that we have to go to another curriculum that is offline- and we are considering enrolling H. into a private Christian school program that is just for homeschoolers so they can get their social butterflies worked out 1x a week or a couple times a month.I'm still not convinced about that just yet though. I should have more grace, but some of the moms there are not very nice. :/ acutally it's beyond not nice. should be interesting- I should mention that I am TERRIFIED to do homeschool w/o having everything laid out for me like it is w/ K12- but I am encouraged b/c I keep finding these verses that tell me it's my responsibility as a momma to teach my child. oooooh boy. I'll be very interested to hear what you choose to do!
Glad to hear you understand. I think the group sounds great! Maybe this is a place where God can use you (and of course, stretch you) to share what Jesus' love should really look like. Without knowing the details, I say you'd need an extra dose of grace but God would bless it!
DeleteAs far as not having homeschooling laid out perfectly, I completely understand. I'm always questioning this and in the end, I'm going to let my husband make the decision because I am too wishy-washy. ;) I need to trust God through my husband.
I have a friend who I respect especially with homeschooling and she gave me a list of resources she uses. I'll send it your way! Love that you are praying for guidance and wisdom!!!